Working with women is a big part of my professional life and I am fortunate to have a handful of wonderful women by my side who are more than friends to me, they are Sisters. They are all very different yet they have a few things in common: sense of humour, courageous, big heart, total honesty. They know who they are, they value and love themselves , which is the result of having done some serious work on themselves.
I hold my standards to this level - this is my reality.
However, I do encounter (more often than I'd like to) fear based behaviour among women. Lack of compassion, gossip, jealousy or even the mere fact that some compare themselves all the time with others are signs of deep wounds that need to be healed.
There will always be someone with a harder butt and rounder boobs, someone will move better and someone will have more success, someone will be a better organized mother. But when we heal ourselves and find our essence, when we start seeing and appreciating ourselves for all the things we've gone through and came out on the other side of pain, when we realize that THERE IS NO COMPETITION, we start to see women who we perceive "better" in certain aspects as MOTIVATORS. They help us grow, they show us ways to grow because they become our GOLDEN SHADOW. The value we see in others and admire is the same value we have inside us that is only waiting to be expressed. This is when we start appreciating every woman and instead of feeling jealousy we celebrate them, because they carry the opportunity for everyone to grow.
Just observe little girls genuinely admiring adult women - because they know that they all carry the potential to become that woman one day. And unless they are told otherwise ( that they cannot do, be that woman and they become wounded) , they will always carry this admiration with them, that will motivate them to grow.
So if you have ever felt smaller, uglier, less intelligent than other women around you, I invite you to ask yourself these questions:
- Why do I feel less worthy?
- What are the qualities of that other woman that make me feel this way?
- How can I harness these qualities in myself?
Next thing you know is that not only you stop feeling jealous of others, but most likely you start genuinely befriending them.
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